A/N: Hi! so um...I am new at this forum. This FanFic was originally written to be listed in www.harrypotterfanfiction.com but it was not accepted as lyrics which don't belong to me are written and all in this FanFic. This is not my first FanFic, I have several others on Harry Potter and on other subjects but anyway. I hope you'll like and all. This story was supposed to be categorized as Mature on the other site. It holds wrist cutting but it's just mentioned. I'm not going into detail on anything to go with the rules.
Ok, so um I hope you don't think like 'Yuck! Emo alert! or something like that. Emos are human beings and I hope you won't judge or something. Well there are several things that are muggle things but weren't used that time for 2 reasons; 1) Weren't yet invented & 2) Couldn't be used at Hogwarts but just pretend that they were invented and you'll find out how they could get used later. Also, the bands I took the lyrics from (The lyrics don't belong to me except some few you'll see later on) are modern so you'll have to pretend they exsisted at that time. That's all hope you like...
She wants her Angel in Disguise...
'Ich schrei in die Nacht für Dich,
lass mich nicht im Stich
Spring nicht.
Die lichter fangen Dich nicht,
sie betrügen Dich.
Spring nicht.
Erinner Dich,
an Dich und mich.
Die Welt da unten zählt nicht,
Bitte spring nicht.
Spring nicht.
Und hält Dich das auch nicht zurück.
Dann spring ich für Dich.'
She sang quietly with her ipod headphones in her ears. She was leaning on a tree trunk facing the lake with her eyes tightly shut together as tears flowed down her face freely. Dawn was slowly approaching and there was a light breeze that was throwing her hair backwards catching an obstacle. Mere minutes before she had been staring at the tranquil lake with glazy eyes but when Bill, the singer of Tokio Hotel, a muggle band had pronounced:
'Spring nicht.
Und hält Dich das auch nicht zurück.
Dann spring ich für Dich.'
Which meant - 'Don't jump
And if all that can't hold you back
I'll jump for you'
She couldn't hold the tears back anymore. It reminded her of her own experience the previous summer. She had had such a relief when she came back to Hogwarts which in her eyes was a heaven, take notice at the use of the verb 'was' instead of 'is'. She still saw it as heaven but only at night when no one was there to criticize her and laugh at her or run away from her.
That was her life after dawn. Everyone whispered behind her back, laughed at her, criticized her, and called her names, while first years ran away from her frightened she'd sent some dark curse at them. Everyone thought she should be a Slytherin but she was a Gryffindor. She wasn't cruel and cold like everyone believed she had turned to. She had always had a double personality.
The previous school year she had had friends, best friends but she was never completely true with them. She never showed her emotional side. She had been a bit kind and all but she hid her real self for she was afraid of solitude but that was then. Solitude, was what her life consisted of now. No one dared to talk to her. Except the teachers though they did seem wary of her.
Now, if you're wondering what I mean by kids being afraid of her and such I'll describe her physically. She has silky black medium length hair that she sometimes spikes a bit up and sometimes it has crazy streaks in. She mostly wears black. You'll usually see her in some black band t-shirt or sweater or something like that, with black straight leg jeans or a black and red/white checked miniskirt or it would be a striped miniskirt, with leggings underneath of course.
She loved anything that had skulls on it or stars. She has an eyebrow piercing, a tongue piercing and a lip ring. She also has a tattoo. It is a pair of wings on her left hip bones. She loved them all, the piercings and the tattoo. It made her feel alive. She felt numb almost constantly. But, they made her remember that she did live, that she wasn't numb 'cause she had felt them. Well for her it hadn't been that much of a pain. She had enjoyed that pain 'cause they hadn't matched to the one pain that was still residing in her heart.
Anyway she was about 5'7, almost 5'8. She had pale white skin and had a pair of amazing hazel eyes that you could drown in if you looked straight at them, well you could only see the left eye as the right eye was always hidden by her bangs. Her fingernails were always coated in black nail polish and sometimes they had small stars in red or small skulls in white on them.
She never wore the uniform. She had pleaded so much with Dumbledore at the start of that school year to not let her wear those horrible school robes. And, he after seeing the desperateness in her eyes agreed and later he had spread the word to the teachers as for her to get no detention. She wore spiked chokers sometimes and you'd never see her without heavy black eyeliner and heavy black eye shadow and of course mascara. It intensified her eyes. Making them more catching. She also always had a hint of some lip-gloss on her lips. Also, she loved black converses and she wore one of her many pairs almost everyday.
Back to the present she put on a song by Cinema Bizarre. The song's name was 'Angel in Disguise'. It reminded her of what she felt but she didn't have that angel in disguise though she has met devils in disguise too much for her liking. She started singing while hearing Strify's voice in her ears. She wanted so badly to find her Angel in Disguise but she was afraid that instead of an angel she'd find another devil under that disguise.
'I was betrayed
There is no fate
an open sore
I'm in too deep
I can't believe
anymore
Will you take what's left of me
Reanimate my trust in fate
Angel in disguise - you save my soul
But you make my heart go blind
My devils rage inside - just can't let go
cause it feels so right
you make my heart go blind
The city sleeps
In empty streets
no gleam of hope - godforsaken
There's no escape
I'm so afraid
of being cold
Just to cope with society
Reanimate my trust in fate
Angel in disguise - you save my soul
But you make my heart go blind
My devils rage inside - just can't let go
cause it feels so right
you make my heart go blind
you save my soul
you make my heart go blind
There is no fate
we've been betrayed
Can you ease my mind?
I'm blind with rage
reanimate
my trust in fate
search deep down inside
and heal the pain
Angel in disguise - you save my soul
But you make my heart go blind
My devils rage inside - just can't let go
cause it feels so right
you make my heart go blind
Angel in disguise - you save my soul
But you make my heart go blind
My devils rage inside - just can't let go
cause it feels so right
you make my heart go blind you save my soul
you make my heart go blind'
She sang while staring at the lake's calamity. She loved water. To her it was fascinating. Just as much as she loves fire. She loved just staring at it. See the colours blending in. For her nature was simply amazing though she hated insects. Those disgusted her to a certain extent. If they weren't near her or her personal most precious stuff then everything was fine but if they were near then she wouldn't help it.
Another song came on. It was again by Cinema Bizarre. The name was 'Love Songs (They Kill me)'. It was exactly what they did to her. She loved this song so much. And so she sang with this one too.
‘Love songs, they kill me
They kill me... Now
The curtain's closed
No way home
The nectar of life run dry
These tainted words
Made to hurt
Cut in me with its' knife
Eating my mind
And with each bite
I'm begging "Please Lord, no"
This place is a mess
The one has gone
Love songs, they kill me
They kill me... Now
Love songs are killing me
Are killing me... Right now
Trained to attack
Bull eye shot in black
I never thought they'd get me
These pictures in my head...
Lying in my bed...
These whips make me bleed
This place is a mess
My one has gone
Love songs, they kill me
They kill me... Now
Love songs are killing me
Are killing me... Right now
Love songs are killing me
Right now
I can't hear the sceneries
Of constant tragedies
Of what I meant to feel no more
'cause I'm already dead
And I just cannot bear
To hear another word no more
Love songs, they kill me
They kill me... Now
Love songs are killing me
Are killing me... Right now
Love songs are killing me
Are killing me... Right now
Love songs are killing me
Are killing me... Right now'
While singing with this song, flashbacks haunted her. She also had had someone she loved and thought he loved her back but he was the first devil in disguise she met in her path. And now he was gone. Although she was pleased he couldn't hurt her anymore she still wanted him to hold her and kiss her and whisper sweet words in her ear even if he didn't mean them, if he had to go and cheat with some woman but at least she could be held by someone again.
That touch, his touch was so precious to her at times. It was a loving touch. That no one had ever given here granted she had been beautiful in all aspects and had a heart to love with. She had reveled some of her real personality to him but that was one of the things that drove him away. A tear crept down her cheek as she remembered those horrible things he had done to her but she quickly composed herself.
She felt weak when she cried but she wasn't afraid to show it anymore like she had been. She lifted her sleeve up her left arm and looked at the scars that resided there. She never knew they could never properly heal but still she had an advantage. She knew how to hide them with a small spell so no one could see them beside her.
She double looked as she saw a trace of the sun on the beautiful calm lake. She looked up and saw the sun rising. She always loved the sunrise. Just then a new song started playing on her ipod. It was 'Rette Mich' by Tokio Hotel again. She loved this song and she could hit all the notes perfectly.
She was such a good singer. Back, at home she had had a band and she was the rhythm guitarist and lead singer but the band had consisted of the triplets and her and the triplets had moved away and the band was no more. She had been disappointed, mainly because they were all she had outside of Hogwarts and without them she had found him who pretty much charmed her in his way. So, she sang with the beautiful song.
'Zum ersten mal alleine in unserem versteck
Ich seh' noch unsere namen an der wand
Und wisch' sie wieder weg
Ich wollt' dir alles anvertrauen
Warum bist du abgehauen
Komm zurück - Nimm mich mit
Komm und rette mich - Ich verbrenne innerlich
Komm und rette mich - Ich schaff's nicht ohne dich
Komm und rette mich - Rette mich - Rette mich
Unsere träume waren gelogen und keine träne echt
Sag dass das nicht wahr ist - Sag es mir jetzt
Vielleicht hörst du irgendwo
Mein s.o.s im radio
Hörst du mich - Hörst du mich nich'
Komm und rette mich - Ich verbrenne innerlich
Komm und rette mich - Ich schaff's nicht ohne dich
Komm und rette mich - Rette mich
Dich und mich - Dich und mich - Dich und mich
Ich seh'noch unsere namen und wisch' sie wieder weg
Unsere träume war'n gelogen und keine träne echt
Hörst du mich - Hörst du mich nich'
Komm und rette mich - rette mich
Komm und rette mich - Ich verbrenne innerlich
Komm und rette mich - Ich schaff's nicht ohne dich
Komm und rette mich - Rette mich'
She sang quietly and beautifully to herself. Well that's what she thought.
~~~
Harry couldn't sleep that night. Something was keeping him awake for some unknown reason. So, it had resulted in him looking out the window at the moon and the stars of his dorm while in the background you could hear Ron's very loud snores. Sometimes, he would look at the ground at the tree he had seen his father in a pensieve stay leaning on.
He had thought that he had seen something or someone leaning on the trunk of that tree but he simply ruled that out as he didn't think anyone in the right mind would go out at this time of night, well early morning as it had been past 3 in the morning when he had seen that shadow to stay under a tree. He hadn't looked back at the ground until the sky was becoming kind of red and that's when he saw that there was indeed someone but he couldn't make out who it was being so high up in the castle.
Being his curious self, he dressed heavily until he took off all those thick clothes as he remembered a spell that he had seen Hermione use which worked perfectly to feel warm instead of cold once outside the castle doors. When he got out of the castle he made his way to the tree where he saw that person leaning. When he was merely 5 or 6 feet away from her he stopped as he had heard her utter something. That's when he realized she was singing.
She had just started singing 'Rette Mich' and he was mesmerized by her voice. He stood rooted to the spot just listening to her enchanting voice that got him up the clouds. When she stopped, he unintentionally alerted her with his presence as he shuffled his feet and she caught the sound in between songs. She immediately turned around and saw him looking at her. She stopped her ipod and looked hatefully at him.
"What do you want?" she asked quietly as she leaned back again with the tree trunk, not looking at him but observing the slowly moving water.
"Nothing, I just I couldn't sleep and I came out here and I heard your singing. You sing beautiful by the way!" Harry said stuttering sometimes, who was blushing just a little when he looked at her as he was mesmerized by her beauty.
"I appreciate you saying that! But, now if you excuse me!" she said as she got up from leaning on the trunk and onto her feet.
"What's your name?" he asked hurriedly.
"Oh, please! Cut the crap will you! You don't care! When everyone will be awake and you see me passing down the corridors you'll just whisper or laugh behind my back. Why should I give you the satisfaction?" she said and without giving him a chance to answer she started running as fast as she possibly could to avoid him.
~~~
She knew who he was. He was Harry Potter. The boy who lived. The one who managed to kill Voldemort. What she wanted to know was why he had even tried to show sympathy when, when in front of his friends he'll laugh with them and whisper behind her back. She had had a second thought. Maybe she could talk to this guy and maybe he wouldn't judge her.
'Oh, God Erin! What the hell are you thinking? You know he will be one of the first to judge! He's famous for god's sake! He just wanted to play! Thinking he can play with me is just plain laughing stock!' she thought as she was running down the corridors trying not to make too much noise as she headed back to the Gryffindor’s common room.
A/N: So, I hope you like...And that you comment...
These bands are bands I'll take lyrics from.
Paramore,
Simple Plan,
Evanescence,
Madina Lake,
An Cafe,
Anna Tsuchiya,
Avril Lavigne,
Green Day,
Linkin Park,
Marilyn Manson,
Mika Nakashima,
Alexz Johnson,
Fallout Boy,
Good Charlotte,
Hoobastank,
Lifehouse,
Lacuna Coil,
My Chemical Romance,
Muse,
Olivia Lufkin,
YUI,
TOKIO HOTEL,
CINEMA BIZARRE.
If you like a particular song from these bands/singers and think it can match with where the story will go then don't hesitate to give your opinion and I'll see where I can put it in if I haven't already planned on using that song. Also, if you know any rock/poppunk/punk/punkrock/pop rock/alternitive/jrock/emo bands/singers you want that lyrics are included in this story I'll look over them and see if they can match the story's plot and all. Hope you like... And that you comment (Good or Bad I'll accept) And sorry that it's a bit tall but that's my writing style...
Now, if you're wondering what I mean by kids being afraid of her and such I'll describe her physically. She has silky black medium length hair that she sometimes spikes a bit up and sometimes it has crazy streaks in. She mostly wears black. You'll usually see her in some black band t-shirt or sweater or something like that, with black straight leg jeans or a black and red/white checked miniskirt or it would be a striped miniskirt, with leggings underneath of course.
"Now, if you're wondering what I mean" threw me a little of. Maybe it's just me but it looks out of place.
Nice story though. Thank god your posts are not short as mine.
I totally lack discipline
'"Now, if you're wondering what I mean" threw me a little of. Maybe it's just me but it looks out of place.
Nice story though. Thank god your posts are not short as mine.
I totally lack discipline.' ray_30579
So, It's good you noticed that. The thing is that it's written from someone's point of view and it will be revealed in the end who's point of view it was. It is someone who is telling the story to someone else a bit of a time after so that's why. All of it is being said and all. anyway, 10x for reviewing and the next post will be a bit taller too. And the 'discipline' thing. Not everyone can get himself to write and explain himself in a long way. Ok, I hope you got what I meant by the last sentence. But, I've been kind of trained for writing in along manner so. Anyway, 10x for reading.
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