This is my first one-shot which I wrote about a week ago. As I've only just registered here, I can only post it now! ^_^
It's told through Sirius's eyes.
We’re sitting in the common room around the fire. Wormtail and Prongs are having an animated game of Exploding Snap and you and I are watching on from separate squashy armchairs. Your beautiful amber eyes are gazing at the cards, unfocussed and distant. I stare at you, taking in the gorgeous sight across the room.
You’re a million miles away and barely notice the small bang that comes from the cards between James and Peter. I wonder what it is that’s going through your mind. Desperation and longing pulses through me. My leg twitches violently. This catches your attention. I look away, but you speak anyway.
“You right there, Padfoot? Got some kind of nervous twitch,” you laugh, stretching your arms out in front of you.
God you look amazing. I barely acknowledge you’ve spoken to me. I simply jolt my head in a nod, forcing a painful smile.
You frown at me inquiringly and I start to panic. Have you sensed my feelings?
“I’m going to bed,” I say more to you than the other two. It’s only five in the afternoon, but I’m hardly aware of the time right now. I lift myself from my armchair and cross the room to the staircase.
“Sirius, wait,” you call. Your voice sounds concerned. My heart beat quickens slightly and I turn my head to look back at you.
“Yes. Fine,” I reply, turning again to climb the stairs.
I walk into our dorm and pull my shirt off. I hear a tap on the door, but choose to ignore it. I think its James, but the only person I want to disturb me is you.
“Sirius?” comes your voice of concern. You push the door open without waiting for my reply. I see your eyes rake over my bare chest, then flicker to my crotch. I ignore this, putting it down to you checking I’m decent.
“Mate, what’s wrong? You’ve been acting odd ever since we got back from summer vacation. You were fine at my house those last few weeks,” you say, your voice melting into me.
But only if you knew, Remus. In those weeks, I had you to myself. There was no James, no Peter, no anyone I had to share you with. We had countless hours together and the world seemed like it could wait forever. But you still didn’t know. I didn’t dare tell you for fear of losing you.
“Nothing, it’s just all the pressure from the teachers about our f*cking OWLs,” I say, trying my best to sound convincing. Your eyes sweep over me again, as though searching for the lie I’ve just told. You don’t detect it.
“If you’re sure,” you say, walking forwards.
I incline my head again distractedly. What are you doing? Why are you coming so close to me? My heart beats hard against my ribs and my breathing becomes deep and shallow. You place a warm hand on my chest and bring your face close into mine. I feel as though my heart is going to explode through my chest. My head is racing with a million and one thoughts.
Then you lean in, bringing your mouth up to whisper in my ear.
“I love you…” you say. My knees collapse beneath me.
uh, ok, odd twist....not quite sure how to comment on this.
Regardless of what I think of the story (and I'm not torn between liking and disliking, it's liking and a sense of 'ok, that was weird'), that was some very good writing in general.
*applause*
_________________ Draco Malfoy and *sniff...sob* Fred Weasly ♥
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uh, ok, odd twist....not quite sure how to comment on this.
Regardless of what I think of the story (and I'm not torn between liking and disliking, it's liking and a sense of 'ok, that was weird'), that was some very good writing in general.
*applause*
Okay, so... you liked it? Lol.
It is a bit of a strange twist. I hadn't even planned on Remus feeling the same, but I felt as though I was left with no option when I had Sirius go to their dorm. It would have been too short if I'd ended it there.
Ah well, there aren't enough Sirius/Remus fics out there in my opinion.
Even so, I'm glad you enjoyed my writing! ^_^ I try my best to be as creative as possible.
ok, honestly, I'm not sure if I liked it. It certainly is a different approach, even if a little odd, but a very well-crafted piece of writing, so I would have to say that yes, I did like it. Well done _________________ Draco Malfoy and *sniff...sob* Fred Weasly ♥
banner made by Kino
ok, honestly, I'm not sure if I liked it. It certainly is a different approach, even if a little odd, but a very well-crafted piece of writing, so I would have to say that yes, I did like it. Well done
Lol, another mixed review! ^_^
I guess I need to rely on my writing to make up for odd plots and weird twists. I don't even think about what I'm writing, it just comes from no where.
LMAO,
Well I liked it (: I like the odd twist and the originality of it, hahah. It actually made me laugh more but I thought it was well-written. _________________
*makes a gesture towards slytherin person who's name I can't remember*
yeah, exactly, and my final thought would have to be that, yes, I liked it. _________________ Draco Malfoy and *sniff...sob* Fred Weasly ♥
banner made by Kino
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