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The Death Of The Werewolf (DH spoilers)

 
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joniboni
First Year

Joined: Jul 27, 2007
Posts: 151

PostPosted: August 8, 2007 7:45 am    Post subject: The Death Of The Werewolf (DH spoilers) Reply with quote

"Stupefy!" The death eater fell to the ground. "Good one, honey!" Tonks told her husband. Lupin and her wife had arrived at Hogwarts, as soon as they heart the news. Voldemort. The dark lord had started a massacre at hogwarts. They couldn't let it happen. "Watch out! Behind you!" Lupin shouted at his wife. A death eater was about to shoot her in the back! Tonks turned around. "Sectumsempra!" She shouted and the death eaters head was sliced. They were in the great hall right now, fighting against five death eaters. "AVADA KEDAV...!" A death eater was about to kill Tonks. Lupin apparated and showed up behind him. "Incendio!" The death eater started burning, "STUPEFY!" Lupin then shouted, and the death eater was thrown into another death eater. "Thanks!" Tonks said, and in a momment Lupin felt like leaving the battle, and stay with her forever. His thoghts were interrupted when another death eater showed up right in front of him. Lupin didn't have enough time, and the death eater started saying: "AVADA..." Suddently a light haired boy, and a brown haired boy showed up. It was Colin Creevey and Neville Longbottom. "Stupefy!" They both shouted, and the curses hit the death eater. Lupin was just about to thank them, when a green light occured. Colin Creevey fell to the ground, with his eyes wide open. "No!" Tonks and Lupin shouted, when they saw the boy. "Neville, get out of here!" Lupin shouted, but Neville didn't move. "NOW!" Lupin shouted and Neville ran away, with Colin on his back. Then everything went slow motion. There was curses everywhere. Lupin couldn't see anything. He thought about Collin, and his son Ted. He thoght about Harry, now the godfather of Ted. "Stupefy!" He heard Tonks's voice. Then he heard a male voice shouting "Sepensotia!" A snake showed up in front of him. It bit him in the leg. "Arhh!" Lupin shouted, and he heart his wife shout: "are you allright!" More Death Eaters arrived and he heard the terrible laughter of Bellatrix Lestrange. There were smoke everywhere, and he still couldn't see anything. More teachers of Hogwarts had arrived. Bella showed up in front of Tonks. "Awww" she said looking crazy. "Look at da little couwple! Isn't it cute!" Lupin ran towards Tonks and Bella. The death eaters tried to curse him, but they missed. Lupin was almost there, just a little longer. Tonks and Bella had started fighting. They were both going for the kill. Bellas dead curse missed Tonks. But the next hit her in the stomach. Tonks fell to the ground. Dead. "NOOO!!!" Lupin shouted. "AVADA KEDAVRA!!!" He shouted with tears in his eyes. The curse missed Bella, but hit Greyback instead. "IM GONNA KILL YOU YOU WHORE!!!" Lupin shouted at Bellatrix. The curses didn't hit her. Then she fired her third dead curse. Lupin looked at Bellatrix. He almost couldn't see, because of the tears in his eyes. Bellatrix smiled, her crazy smile, and then everything went black.

Epilogue:

Lupin and Tonks was burried with fifty others, near Dumbledores grave. Voldemort was dead, killed by his own curse. Bellatrix was also dead, killed by Molly Weasley. Ted Lupin joined Harry's family, nineteen years later.

End


Last edited by joniboni on August 8, 2007 8:27 am; edited 1 time in total
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Duelingwands
Scorps

Joined: Jul 27, 2007
Location: The Forbidden Forest
Posts: 3884

PostPosted: August 8, 2007 7:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not bad, thats pretty good.

You could add more paragraphs, it would make it easier to read.
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joniboni
First Year

Joined: Jul 27, 2007
Posts: 151

PostPosted: August 8, 2007 8:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Duelingwands wrote:
Not bad, thats pretty good.

You could add more paragraphs, it would make it easier to read.


Thanks! Its my second fan fic, im not so good at it (im not english, im danish) so its kinda hard for me. I read some of yours, its damn good!
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Duelingwands
Scorps

Joined: Jul 27, 2007
Location: The Forbidden Forest
Posts: 3884

PostPosted: August 8, 2007 8:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

joniboni wrote:
Duelingwands wrote:
Not bad, thats pretty good.

You could add more paragraphs, it would make it easier to read.


Thanks! Its my second fan fic, im not so good at it (im not english, im danish) so its kinda hard for me. I read some of yours, its damn good!


Why thank you. Eh, don't worry, I have the same problems writing in German or Chinese.

"I love you" becomes something along the lines of "I sell you carpets"
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joniboni
First Year

Joined: Jul 27, 2007
Posts: 151

PostPosted: August 8, 2007 8:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Duelingwands wrote:
joniboni wrote:
Duelingwands wrote:
Not bad, thats pretty good.

You could add more paragraphs, it would make it easier to read.


Thanks! Its my second fan fic, im not so good at it (im not english, im danish) so its kinda hard for me. I read some of yours, its damn good!


Why thank you. Eh, don't worry, I have the same problems writing in German or Chinese.

"I love you" becomes something along the lines of "I sell you carpets"


Hehe, after our summer vacation im going to have german classes. I really hope im good at it!
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Duelingwands
Scorps

Joined: Jul 27, 2007
Location: The Forbidden Forest
Posts: 3884

PostPosted: August 8, 2007 8:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've already had German, it's quite simple as it is closely tied with English.

I have Spanish next semester Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil
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joniboni
First Year

Joined: Jul 27, 2007
Posts: 151

PostPosted: August 8, 2007 8:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Duelingwands wrote:
I've already had German, it's quite simple as it is closely tied with English.

I have Spanish next semester Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil


Smile phew...Thoght it was very hard, Spanish? Sounds quite hard Wink
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joniboni
First Year

Joined: Jul 27, 2007
Posts: 151

PostPosted: August 8, 2007 9:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Im bored
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"You are a fool Harry Potter. And you will lose...Everything!"

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