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Two Houses Stand United

 
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Who do you think Sheryll's crush might be?
Harry
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Draco
50%
 50%  [ 1 ]
I don't know...
50%
 50%  [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 2

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GryfindorChick
First Year
Gryffindor Member

Joined: Jan 30, 2010
Location: Staring out the window and wishng that Hogwarts was real
Posts: 156

PostPosted: January 31, 2010 7:21 pm    Post subject: Two Houses Stand United Reply with quote

I stared at the ceiling of the Hogwarts Great Hall. It looked very much like the night sky. Glancing around, I felt very uncomfortable with so many pairs of eyes staring at me, since I was at the front of the mob of new first years.

I stopped infront of a tall witch bedecked in emerald green robes. Some rather chatty students who weren't paying attention bumped into me. The sudden stop caused everyone else to bump into the people in front of them. Feeling the force of about 90 other people on my spine, I toppled over, greeting the hard stone floor with my face. The hall erupted into roars of laughter and I felt my narrow nose throbbing with hot and firey pain. I stood up and tried to look dignified, despite my broken nose and crimson blood on my face and on my robes. Hot tears of pain and anger blurred my eyes.

"Silence!" The witch infront of me exclaimed and the hall grew quiet except for a few stray snickers.

She pointed her wand at my nose, which went hot and then cold. I then became aware that my face no longer felt warm with blood and than my nose felt firm and healed. "Thank you... I am so sorry..." I whispered shamefully.

The witch only gave a curt nod and opened a long list of parchment. "Sheryll Castirro." She called.

I stepped forward and she motioned for me to sit down on a low stool. She pulled out a dusty and battered looking hat. My fate would be decided here...
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Due to school i am not allowed on the computer Monday through Thursday. Sorry for any inconveince.

I may be in Gryffindor, but I'm a Draco fangirl.


Last edited by GryfindorChick on February 1, 2010 7:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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kerrybutcher586
Squib

Joined: Jan 26, 2010
Posts: 71

PostPosted: February 1, 2010 9:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That is so good Smile
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Jayfer
Jennifer
Gryffindor Member

Joined: May 30, 2008
Posts: 16203

PostPosted: February 1, 2010 10:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree, this is well written and good.

A couple of typos: "The witch infront of me..." should be "The witch in front of me..."

and

"...blood and than my nose felt firm ..." --- "than" should be "then" or "that"


Great beginning to a fan fic. I look forward to reading more. A title will come to you soon enough. Good luck.
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Last edited by Jayfer on February 2, 2010 8:29 am; edited 1 time in total
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GryfindorChick
First Year
Gryffindor Member

Joined: Jan 30, 2010
Location: Staring out the window and wishng that Hogwarts was real
Posts: 156

PostPosted: February 1, 2010 8:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I sat down and remained still as a statue while the witch placed the hat on my head. I worked hard to keep from letting out a squeal when the hat began to talk.

"Hmmm... Yes... Interesting. Smart, shy, a bit clumsy, but you have potential as an aura sensor, yessss. Okay then, GRYFFINDOOOR!" The hat shouted straight in my ear, causing me to wince.

Again I was greeted with many giggles. I cast a glare at one table where the most giggles were coming from. This only made them laugh harder. As soon as the hat was lifted off my head I stood up, held my head high, and walked as dignified as I could toward my designated table. I sat down on one of the benchs on the far end of the table by myself. I layed my head on my arms and watched the rest of the sorting go by slowly. I closed my eyes, quite bored, but they flew open a few moments later. I felt a presence on my left side. "Your a fourth year... I can tell by your higher-class aura." I said bluntly, not turning my head.

"You're an aura-sensing witch... A very intresting gift." A sweet and femine voice said.

"Should I take that as an insult or a compliment?" I asked.

The voice gave a short laugh. "I'm Hermione Granger. Sheryll is a very nice name."

I lifted my head up and turned my head to face her. I swept my straight dark-chocolate colored hair out of my face and looked her in the eye. "Thank you. Hermione is a very elegant name." I returned the compliment with one of my own.

"One of your freinds, Hermione?" I asked, feeling yet another fourth year aura behind me.

But this aura was different, something dark rested within his soul. I recognized this person as the wizard I heard about since I was little. "Harry Potter, I presume..."

When I turned my head, Harry's face look a little shocked. "H-how could... How could you tell you I was?"

"A person's aura can say a lot about them." I explained. "An aura is an invisble raidiation of emotion and/or personality. Some wizards or witches, like me, can sense these auras and for this they have some advantages in duels since they can tell when their opponents are about to attack."

"This little first year may give you a run for your money, huh Hermione?" A boy with freckles and flaming red hair laughed, sitting down across from me.

"I'm Ron. Ronald Weasley." He said, sticking out his hand. I shook it.

"Oh shut up Ron..." Hermione glared at him.

We all laughed and I felt happy for finding freinds who I think will be great.

I looked around and saw another boy glaring at me (or Harry, I couldn't tell...).
_________________
Due to school i am not allowed on the computer Monday through Thursday. Sorry for any inconveince.

I may be in Gryffindor, but I'm a Draco fangirl.
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Jayfer
Jennifer
Gryffindor Member

Joined: May 30, 2008
Posts: 16203

PostPosted: February 2, 2010 8:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi! Nice writing. I'm not sure who her crush is -- too early to tell.

On this line: "H-how could... How could you tell you I was?" --did you mean "H-how could... How could you tell who I was?"

I can't wait to read more. Keep up the good work.

Nice title, too!!
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WyrdKitten
Squib
Ravenclaw Member

Joined: Jan 29, 2010
Posts: 96

PostPosted: February 2, 2010 9:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm guessing...

Spoiler:

Draco. She's a Gryffindore, and he's a Slytherin. It fits the title.


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GryfindorChick
First Year
Gryffindor Member

Joined: Jan 30, 2010
Location: Staring out the window and wishng that Hogwarts was real
Posts: 156

PostPosted: February 7, 2010 1:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My eyes wandered around the room as an old wizard up front rambled on about new teachers, rules, and saftey against "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named". I didn't understand how a small thing like a name "Voldemort" could strike so much fear into people. Yes, he was the most evil wizard, yes he murdered many people, but he was just insecure inside. He didn't let anyone close enough to help him. That's what that bloody git's problem was...

I smelled turkey and mashed potatoes, like Thanksgiving dinner at my grandmother's house back in Virginia. I looked around in surprise. There was an abundance of food on the table. Everybody around me was stuffing their faces like there was no tommorow. I clasped my hands together and bowed my head prayer. I murmured thanks to the Lord for the food. I got quizicall looks from Harry and a flaming red headed girl sitting next to him.

"My famliy was very religious back in my home town!" I snapped, trying to defend my family's beliefs.

I turned my head away from the two of them and began to eat. The turkey was warm and flavorful, with not many spices but enough to add a bit of a kick. The potatoes were buttered and salted to perfection, and the gravy was absolutely amazing. I savored each bite as if it were my last. I politely took small sips of pumkin juice, though I didn't really care for it. I prefered my grandmother's homemade lemon-apple juice.

Soon the main course was replaced with desert. Cookies, cupcakes, pies and cakes littered the table. I scanned across the table for my favorite dessert, and I soon found it, sitting untouched not far from me. Classic New York Cheesecake...

Hermione casted a look in my direction. She flicked her wand, and a slice soon rose in the air, floated towards me, and nestled neatly on my plate. "Thank you very much, Hermione. New York Cheesecake is my absolute favorite." I said.

Picking up a fork I began to slice the cake into equal sections and peircing in peice at a time, I began to eat it. It had a smooth and crumbly texture, and I could tell that it was chilled for a long period of time before being served.

Soon everything vanished and everyone stood. I rose slowly and followed a Gryfindor Prefect into the Common rooms.
_________________
Due to school i am not allowed on the computer Monday through Thursday. Sorry for any inconveince.

I may be in Gryffindor, but I'm a Draco fangirl.
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