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Posts: 1580 · Joined: Sep 28, 2007 Location: In the Museum Posts: 1580

ok this is my 1st real Fan Fic
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By:BoyWhoLived(don't let the name fool you i'm evil)
Rating:Evil G
Chapter1:The Trainride and a some new friends

Lily:please dad can i go please
Harry:No sweetheart i told you that alredy
Ginny:You have to wait another couple years Lily
Lily:Ok
Albus:but i get to go now right
Harry:Yes
James:Hope you'r in griffindor like me
Ron:Hey Harry Ginny
Harry:Hey Ron
Hermione:Hello Ginny
Ginny:Hi
Rose:Hello Albus
Albus:Hey...Rose
Rose:Hey James
James:hey
Albus:Rose wanna sit with me on the train
Rose:Ok
Harry:Better get on it's almost 8:00
Albus:Ok bye mom bye dad
Harry and Ginny:Bye son
as Albus and rose were climbing on they met a roundfaced boy
Roundfaced boy:Hello i'm Jhon Longbottom
Albus:hi I'm Albus Severus Potter
Rose:I'm Rose Weasly
Jhon:Cool wanna sit with me
Rose and Albus:Shure
when they got a compartement after a couple of minutes they heard a knock on the door
Albus:Come in
Kid:Can I sit in hear everywhere else is full
Albus:Shure
Kid:I'm Scorpius Malfoy
Albus:Malfoy?
Scorpius:Yep
for the remaining train ride they all except rose were discussing Quiddage
When they arrived and had there robes on they all were half asleep
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there you go plz comment
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Posts: 554 · Posted: September 30, 2007 4:31 pm Post subject:

um that wasn't bad storywise, I like the whole 'Harry's kids meeting Draco's kids', so I would have to say that so far I like the story, but I'll lose interest fast if it's gonna be complete diaglogue Wink

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Posts: 7692 · Joined: Aug 11, 2007 Location: With Ron ? Posts: 7692

not bad cant wait to here the rest
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has reached level of pressure.

Posts: 731 · Joined: Jul 13, 2007 Location: with dan Posts: 731

nice job.

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Posts: 294 · Posted: October 14, 2007 9:27 am Post subject:

that was good! cant wait to hear the rest!!! Very Happy

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Posts: 1580 · Joined: Sep 28, 2007 Location: In the Museum Posts: 1580

ok
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as rose,Scorpius,John, and Albus walked on the the platform in hogseamed they heard a call."First years over here first years"Hagrid had called."Hi Hagrid"rose said."hello Rose Albus John"He said "But I don't think I've met you"He added to Scorpius."Oh i'm Scorpius Malfoy"He said "well nice to meat ya"Hagrid said "Ok first years follow me please"Hagrid called out again. Rose,Albus,John,and Scorpius all shared the same boat. "Ok Head's Down"Hagrid called as they past under a mossy rock bridge thing. The boats came to a stop on the rocky ground. Hagrid led them to a big door and knocked. The stood a tall skinny round faced man. "hello My name is Professer Loghnbottom"said the man "Hi Dad"Called John. "If you will please follow me"said Professer loghbottom waving at his son. And he led them to a big room."Is there a cieling even"Asked a boy next to Rose."Yes it's just bewiched"Rose said. "wow"said the boy again. Then they fell to a stop.Albus looked up and saw a very stricked looking woman."welcome to hogwarts"she said "Now as some of you know that 20 years ago the sorting hat was put up in flames by Voldemort so we have gotten a new sorting hat finally she said" "now let us all greet it kindly unfortunatly it doesn't sing a song" But the entire hall filled with laughter. "Now when i call you'r name you will put this on you'r head"she said. Albus waited 5 minutes before he was sorted just before him was Patil,Mary was put in Gryffindor Potter,Albus "Hmmmmm Potter"said the hat "well you'r parents were both put in gryffindor. But you'r father was because he asked me no it was because I could fell his bravery and kindness I was torn between Hufflepuff,Slytherin,and Gryffindor but in the End it was gryffindor but were to put you"It said "Ok"He said "GRYFFINDOR"it yelled
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Posts: 147 · Joined: Aug 19, 2007 Posts: 147

Good job taking my idea of the new Sorting Hat! > Sad

j/k

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Posts: 1580 · Joined: Sep 28, 2007 Location: In the Museum Posts: 1580

well i added it din't sing do i'm not copying you
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