Hey. This is my first fanfic, and I was wondering what you guys thought of it. It is a Remus/Tonks story, so if you don't like that pairing, don't come here and flame. I currently have two chapters up, but I'll post them one at a time.
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The night is bright, with a slight breeze, the kind of night that whispers, Dream, the morning is far off, sleep, and you'll never want to wake. However, in the home of Ted Tonks, not a single soul is sleeping. Ted, a short, slightly stout middle aged man, is trying his hardest to ignore the hideous noises coming from the attic. Alas, every time the roof above him shakes, he winces, unable to disregard the horrific happenings above him. His wife, Andromeda, is trying her best to comfort her terrified daughter. None of them will sleep, just as the tortured soul in the attic won't sleep. And, so the house waits, holding its breath, as the wailing continues, as if daring them to close their eyes, even for a moment.
Hours pass. As the light in the morose kitchen turns orange, Ted watches his daughter quickly rise, and rush upstairs. He smiles, despite the nervousness that still lingers in the air. His daughter, born Nymphadora Tonks, now going by Tonks, was the highlight of his life. Andromeda looks to follow Dora, but he grasps her hand, signaling her to sit. Together, they wait for her to come down.
Tonks climbs the stairs, reaching the attic door in just a matter of seconds. She silently puts her ear to the door, and hears something she wishes she hadn't. A whimper, like a dying animal, is softly creeping through the cracks in the door. Tonks tears up, and slowly opens the door, preparing for the worst.
The worst is what she finds. Tonks stares in horror at the pitiful, wretched thing on the attic floor. The man is sporting a variety of injuries, all of which look messy, and torn, as if chewed. Blood covers the wooden floor, like a rich carpet of velvet. The body is crumpled in the fetal position, crying nearly silently, his thin shoulders shaking violently. Blood covers his hands, and Tonks is reminded of a murderer, soaked in the blood of his victim. Tonks starts toward the body, and carefully rolls it over.
The man moans as Tonks gently brushes the hair out of his eyes. She conjures the first aid bag, and begins to dress the wounds as best she knows how. She can barely contain the impulse to gag, as the sickeningly sweet smell of blood floods her nostrils. She feels a jolt of despair, knowing in her heart, that no matter how many times she fixes the wounds, they will come back the next time a full moon strikes, defying her carefully laid out efforts. Remus winces at the acidic liquids being applied to the wounds. She sighs as the last dressing is applied, knowing that she has done her best.
She gathers him in her arms, and fights the urge to sob as his weak arms squeeze her as tightly as their limited strength will allow. He buries his face in her bosom, and she soon feels the warm wetness of tears on her thin nightshirt. She feels like a mother comforting a frightened child, and realizes how scary being a werewolf must be.
“Oh, Remus", she whispers, as she smoothes his hair. It is moments like these when she knows she loves her husband, no matter what he does with his lima beans at dinner, (not to mention broccoli), or how angry she gets at him when he steals the last piece of chocolate cake. It's the guilty, mischievous look he gives her when she catches him that makes everything okay. It didn't matter that he had left her without explanation; it was him coming back, pleading for forgiveness, his face tear filled, which mattered. He cares, and he has proven that to her multiple times. Her friends often ask her why something as fickle as a man should be such a big part of her life. She has no real explanation besides the fact that Remus gives her a feeling of ecstasy, and to take that away would be like destroying her very soul. Remus is her soul, it belongs to him, and she won't have it any other way.
Her reverie is broken when Remus moans, and she realizes they are still on the attic floor. She lifts him up, and helps him down the stairs to the room they share. Every time he trips, she feels her own heart pang, as if his pain is hers. She wishes she could take away some of his pain, just a little. She will gladly take some of it, to make her feel more useful, instead of the useless being she feels like now. She lays his panting body on the bed, knowing the effort of going down the stairs has tired him. Pulling a light blanket over him, and once more stroking his hair, she whispers, " It's, all right now, it's over." Whether she means the stairs or the full moon, she doesn't know. But the words sound comforting, and Remus's breath calms down, to her utmost relief.
She catches a glimpse of a water basin and towel her mother had placed in the room. She used them to sponge the blood, sweat, and tears off of his pale face. He sighs, the cool water comforting to his feverish head. She kisses his forehead, and, making sure he is comfortable, and sound asleep, she makes for the door. After his transformations, he will sleep for near a day, and she knows that disturbing him will prolong that time period.
To her utter surprise, when she makes for the door, she hears a soft voice proclaim, “Dora".
She turns abruptly, and sees Remus looking at her weakly, his eyes bright.
Dora.
Nobody besides her parents ever calls her Dora. That is a rule she has defended for years. Nobody. But, when Remus says it, it sounds just like a name should sound. Beautiful. She turns toward the bed and says, "Yes love?"
Remus smiles weakly and says, “I love you. You know that right?"
Tonks smiles and whispers, “Yes. I love you too."
As Remus closes his eyes, he says one more thing. “Dora?"
"Yes"
“We’re out of chocolate pudding." _________________ Don't hate my ship because it's canon.
No, I have another chapter. I actually am planning on doing the key moments in DH that Remus/Tonks could have had. Sort of a behind the scenes sort of thing. The story will go up to the Battle at Hogwarts. I only have two chapter written so far though. Do you want the next chapter? _________________ Don't hate my ship because it's canon.
Things have been quiet for a long while now. Although a war is raging, and many casualties have been sustained, Remus and Tonks have had a great deal of luck avoiding the terror. Bellatrix, however set out she is on killing Tonks, can not possibly find the hiding place of the couple and Remus’ in-laws. Not that the witch hadn’t tried. She has repeatedly attempted tracking spells, all of which Remus detects and removes efficiently before entering the home.
As Tonks grows bigger, Remus continues to alternate between joy and fear, in increasing amounts each time she exclaims that she feels kicking, or puts on a bit more weight. Every time that he gets the feeling that this beautiful nymph doesn’t deserve him, he pushes it aside, knowing that she is happy. Hell, he’s happy. Happier then he can ever remember. And, as he lies in bed, contemplating how on Earth he got so lucky, he hears Dora begin to stir. She starts crying, “No, no, please, the baby!”
He watches her in horror for a moment, and then springs into action. He starts to shake her quickly, and whispers in her ear, “Dora, wake up, it’s okay!”
She gasps as she opens her eyes and see’s him standing right above her. She screams and pulls a punch so hard Remus almost falls off the bed. He holds his nose in his hands and gasps, “What the bloody-“
Then he sees her crying into her pillow. Not a whining, angry cry; a fearful one. What had gotten her so upset? She wasn’t the type of woman who cried easily. The last time she had cried, it had been over him. He is quite sure that isn’t the case this time. He doesn’t know what possessed her to sob like that, but he knows he doesn’t like it. He leans over to her and touches her shoulder.
“Dora?” he whispers, and he sees her tear streaked face look up at him slowly, taking him in.
He smiles at her softly, hoping she doesn’t punch him again. To his surprise, she hides her face in his pajama shirt and starts to bawl. He smoothes her hair and says, “Its okay, just a bad dream. You’re okay now.”
After a few minutes she looks up, and he sees her frown.
“What?” he says with a concerned look.
“Your nose. It’s bleeding.”
He sighs. Just like Dora to worry about him when she was the one having nightmares.
“I’m fine. What’s gotten you so upset, love?”
Dora blinks and says, “It was- oh Remus, it was horrible! She was…. Oh God, Remus she was killing us. And I couldn’t save the baby. I couldn’t. I tried and I-I couldn’t -it wouldn’t come out!”
She begins to cry again, and Remus, although he has a suspicion, asks, “Who?”
“Bella- Bellatrix”, she sobs.
Remus’ brow crumples and he holds onto her tight.
He whispers to her softly, “Listen to me, okay? She is not getting anywhere near you. I won’t let her. She’s not going to hurt you, or the baby. I promise. She’ll have to go over my dead body.”
At this he feels her shudder, but she says nothing, so he continues.
“See this?” He holds up his wedding ring. “Didn’t I promise to stand by you, no matter what? Some disgusting woman isn’t going to ruin what we have. Because, frankly, I am tired of people ruining my life. And it is not going to happen again. Especially not now. These last few months have been the best I have ever had, and no one is ruining that anytime soon. I’ve almost wrecked this marriage on my own, and I am not letting anything like that ever happen again. Because I love you, and I know, somehow, that everything will be okay. It has to be. You don’t understand how long I’ve waited for this. It can’t go wrong. I can’t- “
He feels himself tearing up. Oh, great, now I’m crying!
Dora looks up and hugs him. “Oh Remus, don’t start crying too!”
He smiles and embraces her back. As he holds her head to his chest, he feels something different from anything he has ever felt before. He realizes he has felt it, always around her, but he had tried to ignore it. It is like something has lit up inside him, and nothing can darken it except her leaving. If she was gone, the light would go out, and he would be back to the Old Remus, lonely and desperate for something indefinable. He knows now what it was. It’s love. The very thing he had avoided for so long was what he needed the most. Right now, as he holds his wife, he smiles as he realizes that she sees him as the protector when really he is the one who needs her. He was nothing without her before, and he will be nothing without her now.
He watches her wipe her eyes, sigh, and look at him. “I love you.”
The words are simple, but fill Remus with that same feeling. She loves me! Of course, he knew that before, but hearing it now was no less exciting then the first time she said it, though he had tried to ignore it then.
Before he can respond, he hears a voice from the doorway.
“Everything okay in there?”
It is Ted Tonks. Remus always has the feeling the man really doesn’t like him much. Of course, he doesn’t blame him. Having your only child marry a werewolf must be disappointing, and no matter how charming Remus is, he really has to resign to the fact that he will always be a disappointment to the in-law. It isn’t as though Ted tries to hide his feelings either. That’s what annoys Remus the most. At least Andromeda has the grace to treat Remus cordially. Ted seems to have neither the class, nor the desire to put forth that same effort.
“Well, what did you do now?” Ted says gruffly. “Going off to the Amazon with some other teen with a cause? Let me just tell you now, you leave this house one more time like that, you are not getting back in. “
Remus tries to keep from rolling his eyes. As if he hadn’t told him that a dozen times. Before he can respond however, Tonks looks at her father.
“Dad, I know this is hard for you to believe, but Remus actually loves me! And I love him! So suck it up!”
Remus whispers, “It’s okay, I can handle this.”
Dora whispers back, “Yeah, right.” Then speaking louder she asks Remus to leave the room so she can talk to her dad alone. Slowly, Remus leaves the bed room. He knows they are talking about him, and unable to resist, he puts his ear up to the door like a child spying on his little sister.
He hears words like, “best”, and “deserves”, and “him”. Nothing really definable is in his grasp. He assumes from Dora’s tone he is putting up quite a fight for him. He thinks this just might make things worse, but he lets it go. After what seems like a century, he hears the bed creak and slowly the door opens.
Ted closes the door and, looking at Remus says, “Come here.”
Remus’ throat closes. Oh, God, what now? Was he going to make him leave? He did have that right. It was his house after all.
Ted leads him to the sitting room and motions him to sit down. Remus picks the chair closest to the door, in case Ted explodes and he needs to make a run for it.
After they both are situated, Ted takes a deep breath, and starts to speak.
“Remus, I just wanted to say that…. well, what Dora was telling me was…. I suppose that I have behaved badly towards you, and I suppose it wasn’t quite fair.”
Ted clears his throat and goes on. “What I suppose I am trying to say is, Remus, I am sorry. The way I behaved wasn’t fair to you, but more importantly, it wasn’t fair to Dora. I made it seem like she needed to choose between us, and she shouldn’t have to do that.”
Remus is shocked. Whatever he was thinking Ted was going to say, it was certainly not that. He runs his fingers through his hair nervously.
“Well, thanks. You really didn’t have to-“
Ted cuts him off.
“Yes I did. You see, Remus, this may seem a bit big of me, but I need to ask you to do something for me.”
“Oh, anything, sir”, Remus agrees promptly.
“You can call me Ted. Or Dad. Whichever suits you best. Anyhow, I need to you to help me with something. I am sure you are aware of the muggleborn roundups? They have been going on for at least a month or so now. And I have finally decided that it’s time for me to leave. I have stayed too long as it is. What I need you to do is take care of ‘Dromeda and Dora while I am gone. Be the man of the house. “
Remus stutters. “Me?”
“Who else? Those women are my life, and need someone to make sure they get taken care of in case something happens to m- I just need to know they’ll be okay. Can you please do that for me?”
Remus blinks, quite surprised. “Oh, of course. When are you going to tell them?”
Ted again clears his throat and says, “See, that’s where you come in again. I need you to tell Dora tomorrow morning, and I’ll tell ‘Dromeda. Don’t do it tonight, I want her to get her rest, being pregnant and all.”
Remus nods in agreement. “I can do that.”
Ted gets up. “Good.”
Before Remus can leave the room, Ted gets up and shakes his hand.
“You know what Remus?’
Remus, utterly confused by Ted’s change in behavior, replies, “What?”
‘You’re a pretty good guy.”
Remus, utterly confused by the turn of events, goes back up to his bedroom and sees Tonks sleeping. He smoothes her hair and kisses her forehead, knowing she’ll sleep peacefully for at least one more night. _________________ Don't hate my ship because it's canon.
LOVE IT! _________________ "If it looks like we were scared to death, just a couple of kids trying to save each other. You should've seen it in color."
These are incredible chapters. You are very gifted at drawing people into your story - like we're actually there. It is so nice to see more of Lupin's and Tonk's relationship than we got in the HP series. I'll definitely read more when you post. Thanks for writing this! _________________ Hermione: "Everything's going to change. Isn't it?"
Harry: "Yes!"
Note: There is a change of tense in the flashback scenes. That is intentional. I specifically did the flashback for Wolfstarfan of fanfiction.net, because I think this is the stuff he/she wanted.
The home that has held so many memories for Tonks is empty. They had left it several days after Ted had gone into hiding, in with the same thought in mind: safety. As she sits in a small shack waiting for both her mother and her husband to return, she fights back tears as she hears the illegal radio broadcast informing anyone who cares of her own fathers death. Of, course, she has known it for days now, but hearing it from the radio somehow makes it official. As Kingsley goes on about what others can do to help protect Muggles, she listens anxiously for her husband’s voice. Soon enough, it comes.
She hears Remus go on about Harry Potter, and what he stands for. It is a definite contrast from several months ago. She remembers it well.
She was sitting in the Weasley kitchen, crying to Molly over a cup of tea.
“It will be fine dear, you’ll see. He’ll be back soon enough.” she said, evidently thinking that would comfort her.
“He had better not,” Tonks said, “Unless he wants a bloody nose! I could kill him!”
“Now, surely you don’t mean that.”
“You had bloody well bet I do!! That little bas-“
The door was suddenly pounded on violently. Molly, thinking it was a Death Eater, told Tonks to hide. She ran up the stairs, peeking down from the balcony.
“Who is it?” Molly said weakly.
“It’s Remus Lupin!”
The voice that came through the door was vicious. It never once crossed Tonks’ mind that it actually was Remus. Apparently, Molly thought the same way.
“Prove it!” she said shakily.
“Fine!!” the voice replied, seemingly frustrated. “I’m a werewolf, my wife is pregnant, and I taught Harry Potter to fight Dementors, which evidently, means nothing to him!!!”
Molly, realizing it was Remus, opened the door.
It was indeed Remus. He looked positively livid. He stormed into the house, brushing past Molly in an almost rude manner.
“Damn him!” was in essentials, the first thing he said, though his language was a bit stronger. He kicked aside a small stool, and plopped himself into a seat on the long table. He put his elbows on the table, placed his face in his hands, and began to breathe deeply, his shoulders shaking.
After about five minutes, in which Molly didn’t dare speak, he lifted his head up, his face calmer and looking more in control.
“Has Tonks been here?”
Molly looked up Tonks. Tonks signaled a “no”, and Molly cooperated.
“She hasn’t been here, Remus, I’m sorry.”
Remus’ face fell. “Then, do you know where she could be? I need to talk to her!”His voice had an unmistakable pleading tone to it, and Tonks’ heart wrenched at the sound.
“Well, I’m sure she’ll turn up, dear. “
“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?” Remus said, his shaking voice betraying his fear that she wouldn’t.
Tonks couldn’t take it anymore. “Why don’t you ask her?”
Remus looked up, startled, and as he watched her walk down the stairs, his face became at once excited and extremely nervous.
“You are here? But, Molly said… you were hiding from me?”
Tonks’ face looked ready to kill. “You said you had to tell me something. Well, I’m here.”
Remus began to blush violently. “Well, um- see, I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I know that’s not precisely what you want to hear, but I really don’t have anything else to say. I know what I did was stupid, and unforgivable, but I need you to understand that I did it because I wanted you and the baby to be safe.”
Tonks rolled her eyes. “Oh yeah, because every family just does sooooo well when the dad leaves. Try again.”
Remus began to ring his hands. “What else do you want? I said I was stupid, and I was sorry. What else can I say?”
Tonks looked at his panicked face, enjoying it for a fraction of a second, before feeling a sudden surge of remorse. He was right. He really couldn’t say anything else, and it was silly of her to expect something else.
“Look, Remus. I love you, but I can’t have you running off every time our relationship hits a new level. So, far, that’s all you’ve done. I like you, you run off. I get pregnant, you run off. I can’t do this anymore.”
Remus’ eyes filled with tears. “Tonks, please, give me one more chance. I swear to you, everything will go right this time!”
She had reluctantly agreed, and the next three weeks had been hell. Although Remus had kept his word about staying with her, he was still very stiff and uptight around her. She got to the point where she was wishing he would leave, just so she could be done with him. She forgot what she had ever seen in him in the first place. He never even showed signs of affection. At this point, a one-armed hug would be greatly appreciated.
One night, when she came home from Order duty, she noticed his absence at the dinner table. She asked her mother where he had gone, and Andromeda replied, “He said he had something important to do.”
Tonks went up to bed alone, and wondered whether he had left for good this time, or if he would be back tomorrow morning. She didn’t know which one she dreaded most. She fell asleep, dreaming of the Remus she fell in love with.
She was woken up by something soft being pressed gently on her cheek. The sensation left, and she opened her eyes. Remus’ soft brown eyes were staring at her. She blinked. Had he just kissed he cheek to wake her up? No, he couldn’t have. Remus didn’t do that kind of stuff.
“What is it?” she said groggily. “What’s wrong?”
Remus smiled. “Nothing’s wrong, except I don’t know what you want for breakfast.”
Tonks was now very confused, and she must have looked it, because Remus said, “I thought you might want breakfast in bed, seeing as you’re having headaches and all.”
Tonks was startled. Never once had she told him she was having headaches, though she was, undoubtedly because of the pregnancy.
“Yea- Yeah. What do we have?”
“Just say what you want. I can get it for you if we don’t have it.”
Tonks couldn’t keep her confusion to herself any longer. “What the hell happened to you?”
Remus smiled sheepishly. “Well, last night I went to talk to Molly, seeing as I’m rubbish at this relationship stuff, and she told me what I was doing wrong. So, I’m trying to sort of fix it.”
“By making me breakfast in bed?” Tonks said.
Remus’ brow wrinkled. “Do you want something more?”
Tonks sensing his worry said, “No, that’s really sweet of you, but why do you think you have to fix something? You’ve already apologized for leaving me, and you slept on the couch for two days after you came back.”
Remus sighed.” I hurt you Tonks. Not just by leaving you, but by refusing to put forth any effort into this relationship. It was cruel of me. After talking to Harry and Molly, I realize what they said was the same. Molly just said it a more desirable manner. I was being selfish and stupid by not thinking you could handle us being together. I love you. You need to know that, and I haven’t said it. I haven’t even implied it. You’re the whole world to me, and I almost lost it by being oblivious.”
Tonks felt her eyes fill with tears. “Okay. I love you too.”
Remus smiled at her. “So, what do you want?”
Tonks brought her thoughts back to his original question. “Oh, yeah, can I have some bacon and eggs? Presuming you can cook.”
Remus pretended to look offended. “Are you questioning my cooking abilities?”
Tonks giggled. “Possibly.”
Remus turned his back on her in a ridiculous manner. “Well then!”
Before he could leave the room, Tonks stopped him. “Remus?”
He turned on his heel. “Yes?” he said, smiling. Really smiling. The same smile that she had seen him wearing the first time she met him.
“This is the man I married,” she said, motioning at him. “This is who I fell in love with.”
Remus’ smile widened. “Then I’m doing this right.”
Now, as Tonks comes back to earth, she realizes that everything hasn’t gone perfectly for them, but it has improved. Remus never hesitates to tell her he loves her, and although the occasional quarrel breaks out, even when they fight neither one of them ever forgets their love for the other. Even now, when Tonks’ father is dead, Remus is always there when she needs something, whether it is a tissue, a shoulder to cry on, or breakfast in bed, which he still does on occasions. And when he comes walking through that door later this evening, she knows he’ll be there with a kiss and another funny anecdote from Fred or Lee. And so she sits patiently, knowing that her life is as good as she can expect it to be, and although it isn’t her perfect princess life, it’s probably better.
AN: I know this is probably the worst chapter yet, but I had a hard time getting the words in my head to work on paper. Hope it’s still presentable. _________________ Don't hate my ship because it's canon.
i like it _________________ "If it looks like we were scared to death, just a couple of kids trying to save each other. You should've seen it in color."
Love isn't all flowery with perfect words. What you wrote, how you had Lupin and Tonks express themselves is truer to life than you may have thought. You are doing a wonderful job with this story. I'm looking forward to more when you have the time. _________________ Hermione: "Everything's going to change. Isn't it?"
Harry: "Yes!"
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