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Posts: 2523 · Posted: January 19, 2007 9:02 pm Post subject:

Yeah. So I guess ur not a Bush fanatic?

Posts: 1657 · Joined: Jan 6, 2007 Posts: 1657

I knew that I was going to be asked that. I am a Bush fan. I am for the president, I do not want Bush to "go to a play" and I certainly do not want anything bad to happen to him. I just found the humor in the joke.

Posts: 1657 · Joined: Jan 6, 2007 Posts: 1657

An Amish woman and her son are walking through a mall for the first time, totally stunned by everything they see.
They are especially fascinated by two silver walls which slide together and then apart.

They both walk up closer to the sliding silver walls. They see a fat, little old man waddle inside and watch as the doors close behind her.

The mother and son can't believe their eyes when minutes later, the silver doors open and a tall, well-built stud strides out.

The mother then turns to the son and says, "Son, go and get your father."

Posts: 2523 · Posted: January 19, 2007 9:27 pm Post subject:

Posts: 1657 · Joined: Jan 6, 2007 Posts: 1657

I do, he is our president.

Posts: 2523 · Posted: January 19, 2007 9:30 pm Post subject:

Posts: 1657 · Joined: Jan 6, 2007 Posts: 1657

She see a fat man before he walks through the doors and after, aan attractive one. "Go get your father" means that she wanted him to walk through the doors, because he was ugly of fat or something else.

Posts: 2523 · Posted: January 19, 2007 9:42 pm Post subject:

Posts: 1657 · Joined: Jan 6, 2007 Posts: 1657

Spoiler:

Posts: 2523 · Posted: January 19, 2007 9:50 pm Post subject:

That was good!

Posts: 1657 · Joined: Jan 6, 2007 Posts: 1657

I liked it!

Posts: 2523 · Posted: January 19, 2007 9:53 pm Post subject:

Where do you get these?

Posts: 1657 · Joined: Jan 6, 2007 Posts: 1657

That is for me to know!

I can't reveal my secrets!

Posts: 2523 · Posted: January 19, 2007 9:57 pm Post subject:

U can tell me.

Posts: 1657 · Joined: Jan 6, 2007 Posts: 1657

Fine, but it will cost $1.37!

Posts: 2523 · Posted: January 20, 2007 10:10 am Post subject:

Um, can I mail that to you?

Posts: 1657 · Joined: Jan 6, 2007 Posts: 1657

Sure, but I only take cash, so at your own risk!

Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then decides to take their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "If I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, comfortable."

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you just write, comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. She'll read it slowly."

Posts: 732 · Joined: Nov 6, 2006 Location: Michigan Posts: 732

lol

thats a good one, I h8 bush

Okay, A guy has a big business trip coming up so he goes into a bank to get a loan. The loan officer says, after running a quick check on his credit, "everything checks out well but now we are going to need some colateral along." Now the man, clearly an eccentric says to him, "I will give you my car" (Which is a a brand new mercades) The officer says, "Well, sure that would work out" so the man gives him the keys and he leaves (while he is gone they park it in their underground garage) the man soon returns, a week later and goes back to the loan officer. The Loan officer says to the man, "It was great to have business with you but we are quite confused, we did a little backround check on you while you where gone and we noticed you where a millionare, Why would you get a loan?". the man replies, "Why wouldn't I, this is the cheapest place in new york where i could park my car for a couple of weeks."
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Posts: 1657 · Joined: Jan 6, 2007 Posts: 1657

Two blondes are walking down the street when one of them looks down and finds a mirror.
She picks it up, looks into it, and says, "WOW! I know this person. I've seen this person somewhere before..."

The other blonde takes the mirror, looks into it, and says, "Duh, of course you have. That's me!"

Posts: 2523 · Posted: January 21, 2007 6:06 pm Post subject:

Posts: 1657 · Joined: Jan 6, 2007 Posts: 1657

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

I'll get a world record for this.
Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press.
It's fireproof.
He's probably just hibernating.
I'm making a citizen's arrest.
So, you're a cannibal.
It's probably just a rash.
Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?
The odds of that happening have to be a million-to-one!
Pull the pin and count to what?
Which wire was I supposed to cut?
I wonder where the mother bear is.
I've seen this done on TV.
These are the good kind of mushrooms.
I'll hold it and you light the fuse.
Funny, you look just like Charles Manson.
Rat poison only kills rats.
It can't possibly rain for forty days and nights.
This doesn't taste right.
I can make this light before it changes.
Nice doggie.
I can do that with my eyes closed.
Well, we've made it this far.
That's odd.
Don't be so superstitious!

Posts: 2523 · Posted: January 21, 2007 9:31 pm Post subject:

What?

Posts: 1657 · Joined: Jan 6, 2007 Posts: 1657

Famous Last Words!

Posts: 2523 · Posted: January 21, 2007 9:35 pm Post subject:

From who?

Posts: 1657 · Joined: Jan 6, 2007 Posts: 1657

I have no idead, but it is funny.

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